Share's Sharing

...But I thought that I would make a quick note about how much fun my holiday back to B.C. was. I had so much fun everyday! I'll make sure to recap later, but right now all I can think about it jumping into my new pj's that Jo got me and curling up in bed with my eggnog and a book. I'm so happy I was able to see so many people even in my short time home! And more to come... I'll be knocking on your door in two weeks when I come back AGAIN for my dad's wedding. Hope you're not tired of me yet :-P

...And I'm so antsy. I want to just leeeeeave! I wanna see my baby. I wanna see my sibs. I wanna see my momma. I wanna see all the people who I left behind, a certain red head in particular. Oh my gosh, 22 hours won't come fast enough! There's probs no way I'm going to be sleeping tonight. I got the butterflies like two nights ago & I couldn't sleep... Let alone tonight! I've had like less than five hours of sleep for the past three-ish nights 'cuz I'm so stoked! I can't believe I have to work tomorrow morning, it's going to be ABSOLUTE torture! I'll be watching the clock like the whole time!!!

OK, so my current "I AM SO OBSESSED" song is called "Wish You Were Here" [which I don't, cuz I'm coming to you] by Incubus. Oh heart. It's amazing and I've listened to it at least 29 times in the past week [THANKS iTunes!!]. Incubus is so amazing and I've missed them.

Mmm and that's really all I have to say. My tummy is in knots thinking of seeing you all!

What happens when Share has the whole house to herself? She BLASTS music on repeat, jumps into a hot, hot bath and eats some chocolate pudding in the tub. Bah haha, I'm awesome.

I'm working a short shift tonight at work... My first night shift until midnight. Suppsedly it's slow at night so I'm bringing my lappy to work with me! So I'm hoping lots of people are online tonight so I can entertain them with work stories.

I finished the rest of my Christmas shopping today! Man, the malls here are absolutly HECTIC and don't even get me started on WalMarts. I start having a panic attack before I even step foot in them. Sadly, I have to go back once before I leave to pick up some pictures... I've been putting it off but I should go and get them tomorrow.

We're supposedly having a Christmas dinner tomorrow night with Becca's friends... Most of whom I've never met so sounds like it'll be a nice night. I get to bake during the day, it's a potluck so I have to figure out what I'm going to contribute. Me and Jenn are in charge of the main course so hopefully we can pull that together!

FOUR MORE DAYS!!!!

Oh my gosh, my Mom is so funny. She loves it when i phone I think :-) She loves catching up and her voice is always so happy when she finds out it's me calling [my sister and I have the same voice on the phone... She can never tell us apart]. We were talking about how I'm coming home in five days! And how she had to sleep over in her office the last night of work cuz she worked so late that her car got locked into the parking lot. LOLZ. I'm counting down hour by hour ALREADY to when I get back to BC. I can't wait to see my family!!!!!! And my friends! These days are going by soooo slowly!

Last night was one of the best nights I've had since I've come to Edmonton. And that's saying a lot cuz I've had a TON of great nights here. Regan took me as her date to her Christmas work party. Highlands has employed several of my friends here, so there were a ton of people that I'm friends with plus Jenn came as a date too! Such a nice dinner and free booze allll night long. OH man. Supposedly I look exactly like one of the chicks from Criminal Minds... People there were saying that. Which is funny 'cuz I love her character and I always am thinking I could totally do that role if I was on the show :-P Anyway, the night was TOTALLY RAD, dancing, talking, drinking, eating, drinking, flirting, drinking... Hee hee.

PS. I'm now ALMOST done my Christmas shopping, which unfortunatly for my friends doesn't include them because I'm so poor... But that's exciting news and I'm happy with the gifts that I found. Can't wait for CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!

The house is empty yet again. After having Jodi and Josh live with us for the past couple of weeks, it seems like a tomb in here. I hate spending time downstairs because it's THAT much more dungeon-like than before and at least it's a bit lighter upstairs lol.

The last night that Josh was here was definitley one for the books. I came home from work, and Josh was... kind? enough to mix me a couple drinks. Oblivious to the fact that he has mixed several kinds of alcohol together, I drank a couple shots and after HALF an HOUR was pretty brutely "happy". It was a fun night, but I wasn't so much digging the concequence of the next morning. Especially having to go to work!

I'm so so so stoked for tomorrow... I'm going as a date to some of my friend's work Christmas party tomorrow night, so I'm super super excited. It's gonna be good times... and free booze lol. Look at me, seemingly a total lush. 'Tis the season right? I have a feeling we'll get some good stories for tomorrow night though, it's sure to be a blast!

I'm getting more and more excited every day that passes to go home for Christmas! Once Josh leaves, it will only be seven more days til I'm on the plane to see my family, friends, and my precious Maui. Twelve more days!

Unfortunatley, we've all been passing around sickness in The Convent. Regan was sick, who passed it to Jenn, who passed it to me and now Jodi's not feeling great. I'm not too worried though, it should pass by the time I come home for Christmas. They were both on antibiotics but I don't think it's really neccessary since every day I'm feeling a bit better. Lots of green tea and no sharing drinks!

Today is Regan's birthday [24!], and people are coming over in an hour to go sledding at the golf course close to our house. It's not THAT cold out tonight, thankfully! We haven't gone sledding or anything since it started snowing, so I'm pretty stoked. We want to go ice skating too! There's tons of outdoor rinks so we're gonna hunt down Val Vil's for ice skates.

I'm still on the fence about whether I'll be staying here for the summer and possibly past that. At this point I could do either/or. I'm going to see what the other girls end up doing in the next couple of months, and if Jodi decides to stay here or go back home after January when she's done school.

First things first: I'm coming home in less than two weeks! How excited are you? I bet you miss me TONS and can't wait to see my freckly face. Well, same here... I can't wait to see your face!

This past week has been SO TOUGH on me. I've had to SLEEP IN, hang out with JOSH, and GO OUT at night. Man, I tell you it's been painful.

Okay, yeah this week has actually been super awesome! It's been a lazy Sunday today though, we're just kinda moping around the house and hanging out. Jenn, Jodi, and Josh made a huge family breaky this morning which was wonderful. All the trimmings and it was nice to sit down with everyone. I've gone and hidden downstairs for some alone/quiet time but I have a feeling I'll be sought out soon enough. They're getting louder upstairs which means they're probs planning something.

Work is still amazing, it's fun talking on the phone. Have you ever had a conversation with an operator? People just love me I guess.

I'm so so so stoked to come home for a few days... I'm hoping that it'll work out to have a night with all my little friends from everywhere since I've been so high in demand latley since I've announced my homecoming. Which of course it feels pretty good to be missed.

Nothing particularly new and exciting to report, just been hanging out a lot, causing a ruckus and having good times with everyone. And yes, last night I did go down to the Tunnel of Doom [which I promised myself I would never do... And will end up doing whenever someone visits since it's ONE OF THOSE THINGS... Visiters get to expierence Purple City and the Tunnel of Doom... Both ARE as exciting as they sound. I think those are exciting titles]. ....Holy Rambling.

Since I really have nothing important to say, I'll sign off... SO nice to talk to my Mom tonight, it's been a week or so lol.

There has been an outbreak of Mumps in Calgary! Oh, the horror. Now, Edmonton is currently getting vaccinated. But welcome to the thought process of The Convent house: Everyone else is getting shots, we would only catch it from "everyone else", therefore no need to go and get a shot! Problem solved.

It has been snowing like crazy all day! Great news for me, I love love love the snow. We haven't been without snow for a couple of weeks now, and more and more just keeps on piling up. It's wonderful, minus the whole no boots thing. That's okay, Iget payed on Thursday, and my first purchase will be a pair of water-proof boots! I know, you can barely contain your excitment for me. Hopefully along with that I'll find a jacket soon-ish and I can return the random snow protection gear from all of my roomies.

Speaking of roomies, we are now a very empty Convent! Jenn and I have our living room back, but along with that comes the emptiness of not having five people downstairs. It's nice to have some space, but I'm feeling the emptiness of not having Warren, Hannah and Maddie around. On the upside, Josh is coming to visit this week... I thought he came in tonight, turns out it's tomorrow night. So that's great, I get to see Josh and it will vill the void of having a very empty house. Amber has offically moved next door, so we're taking in applications of future roomies :-P.

Oooh, some more good news: Becca's parents brought over a bed for me!!!! And not just any bed... a loft Ikea bed! It's so cute. I'm still anxious to bring all of my stuff from home back [looks like I'll be able to bring stuff back when I come home from my Dad's wedding in January], but having a bed is very nice :-) And I can keep it, or we can just move it into the garage if I decide to bring my real bed from home. Problem is my real bed is a queen-sized bed and I'm not sure how well it will fit into my room. Meh, I have a while to decide.

Things could not be going better for me, I'm really enjoying where I am right now. I'm feeling optomistic about my job since I'm getting regular paychecks now and I've been hanging out with more people which hello, always nice to make more friends. I'm now off to Concordia to see Regan's movie debut for her film class! I'm excited to see how it turns out.

I promise I really would have been blogging before this, but my internet is CRAP, and it wouldn't let me sign in. SUCK! I know, excuses excuses. Don't hate me too much. I have a feeling this entry will turn out to be really random, I have a lot of things to say but nothing to transition them smoothly into one another so you get whatchya get!

Firstly, THE JOB. Mmmm, so great I enjoy it a lot! I'm finally beginning to really catch on and my days are running way smoother. I only asked for help twice today :-P I would definitley recomend working at COS with Telus, it's an amazing atmosphere, great "extras", and HELLO it's not a high stress job! There's tons of people around my age and lots of students so I've been running around making friends and I couldn't be happier about being where I am. Okay, that's a lie. I would be estatic if I knew how to speak French. Like, you can be an English operator but heck if I know how to pronounce or spell or attempt to find ANYTHING in Quebec. And those Frenchies talk so fast!!! Look into a typical conversation with anyone from Quebec:

---Automated system--- *City and town please* [We personally don't hear the computer, just THEIR voice recorded]
"Chateauguay Lery, Montreal" [This is of course said extremely fast with a heavy accent]
*Name, please*
"Gerin Lajoie"
BEEP BEEP <--- That's to tell us when we're on line with them.
ME: "Hi, could you repeat the town name please?"
THEM: [repeats town]
ME: "Could you spell that please?"
THEM: "What you mean spell? It is Ch....says name super fast."
ME: [Attempts to get first three letters of the town name, it then comes in automatically... THIS is the easy part.]
ME: "And the name was 'Geeerean La-jou-eh'?
THEM: "Non, non... Gerin Lajoie. Is school."
ME: "Ah, a school, okay. Could you spell that for me?"
THEM: "Oui, "G-EH-ER-I-N L-AH-JAY-O-I-E" [This is of course said with broken French and English letters. Good thing I still remember my french alphabet from elementary school.]
ME: "Okay, I'll just make sure I'm spelling this right." [I spell out what I got from their broken English.]
THEM: "Non, non non non." [In most cases, I've spelled it wrong, and they spout off the name again even faster.]
ME: "Okay, just searching for you..." [This is where I'm frantically trying every possible combination from what they've given me, adding school to the end in hopes that I can come up with something. If I don't, I try and get the street name that it's on which leads to even more difficulty and in half of the cases I just end up passing them on to a French operator.]

I mean, WHY, dear LORD WHY wouldn't they just ask for a French operator in the first place? Instead they have to put me through 2-5 minutes of pure misery, and in only 25% of cases ending up happy that I've actually found the address/phone number that they're looking for.

ANYWAY, that was a little taste of what I go through 30-40 times a day. But apart from the Frenchies, it's usually an enjoyable job. Except for when, on my first day I got a guy YELLING/CRYING for the number for a Vet Hospital screaming that his dog got hit by a bus and she was dying in his arms. That wasn't very pleasent. Memorable yes, unfortunatly.

Oh and yes, it is extremely cold here. Oh yes yes it is. It ranges from... Oh, minus 12 to minus 22ish, hasn't got MUCH colder than that. And this is coming from the idiot girl who STILL hasn't bought boots or a winter jacket. I look homeless whenever I go outside... But I'm far past caring. I STILL freeze my bum off even with three pairs of pants! I go to work and end up peeling layer after layer off. Mmm, it's wonderful. But really, I'll brave through it 'cuz really. What other choice do I have? And the snow's so pretty!

Our household of eight people is being cut in half on Dec 1st. Amber [upstairs] is moving accross the street, and Warren, Hannah and baby Madison are moving to their new place as well. It's going to be such a sad day :-( We all love that baby, and Warren and Hannah are great... The house is going to be SO empty. The next step for Regan and Becca is finding someone else to move upstairs. Although I'll miss Amber a lot, she WILL only be moving accross the street and I'm curious to see who will end up moving in upstairs.

I guess that's all I have for now. Jenn is cooking dinner and the smell is making my concentration go to the floor!

What to say, what to say.

It's been cool having Erica here visiting me, for sure. I'm pretty sure she loves Edmonton! We had our first snowfall while she was here! The day that she came was our Halloween party which was amazing.

Our friends Warren and Hannah have moved in with us for a while. They're waiting to move into their new place. They have a seven month old girl, her name is Madison and I do believe she is one of the cutest babies on the planet!

I've been listening to lots of my old music that I used to be obsessed with. Don't you love it when memories start bubbling up in your head when you listen to music? I love that so much! I'm listening to The Postal Service right now, and that's what I listened to on my way to and from California so it reminds me of good times then. Oh, and totally pulling out the Grits, Toby Mac, Newsboys, Skillet. I'm trying to get Erica to like Christian Hip Hop.

There are so many things I want to say out loud, so many that I want to clarify, so many things that I've realized, so many epiphanys, so much crying, so much fusteration, so many questions, so many thing I want to yell.

But I won't because now's not the time. Maybe never's not the time, and I'll have to be alright with that.

I wasn't sure that a human being could feel so many freaking emotions at the same time! This is definitly a new-found realization, that I don't particularly like. I'm okay with feeling one emotion at a time, thanks. Three just puts you for a ride, and anything above that just makes me want to break down.

God knew this day had to come. From the start he knew. And he's promised me that things WILL feel better. Why does the world have to keep going on? Why can't people understand what I feel, and why can't I just feel better, dammit.

I'm so angry right now. And confused and hurt. See what I mean about the triple emotion thing? Every day that I think it's getting better, something throws me through a loop-hole and I end up back where I was at the start. I'm not crazy, I know that. Lord knows I feel like I am. Half the time I don't even think about it, the other half my mind is going around in circles looking for a way to get out.

I love being in an all-girl's house. I get different opinions, ideas, and advice whenever I want. We sat around the living room last night and read "He's Just Not Into You". He's just not into you if you've made a pass at him before and were turned down. If a guy is truly into you, you won't have to work that hard! They'll pursue you. Hmmm. To be pursued, eh?

Oh, to just have one day. One day where I think of nothing that I don't want to think about. One day that I'm not analyzing everything that's happened. One night that I can just sleep... Without lying in bed scrutinizing myself. Without having all this anger inside me. I've realized whenever I think or talk about it, I automatically frown, and my 20 and a half year old forehead already has enough wrinkles, thanks.

"I don't remember when exactly but it must have been soon after we met, you taught me that if you fold a dollar bill lengnth-wise and then flatten it out again, a vending machine will almost always accept it.

Goddamn you for that. There has been so many people that I have forgotten, people I liked much more than you, people that I never even knew I knew until someone else mentions them and I wonder what happened to them because I liked them. But not you. You I must now remember in every airport, in every gymnasium, in every stairwell. Thanks to your little trick I can never forget you. Goddamn you for that."

If you leave your name:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
4. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
5. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
6. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
7. If you do this you MUST post this on yours. You MUST. It is written.

this is really hard for me to post publicly.

i've felt god through so many people recently. so much encouragment, so many prayers coming my way. it's really a huge thing for me to cry out to a god who i've shunned, who i doubt... and hear that he really is there. i haven't felt that i'm worthy to ask for anything... i know that's ridiculous and doesn't make any sense after what i've been taught my whole life, but it stands true to what i feel.

i'm eating pumpkin seeds. it's been so long since i've eaten them! we had a night of pumpkin carving and seed baking. it was cutsie and fun, and i was definitly reminded of when i was little and we would do this every halloween!

isn't it typical that every song i listen to describes what i'm feeling right now? i love that music expresses your moods, that you can feel better and memories flood your head when you listen to certain songs.

i put up the honesty box application on my facebook, and i've gotten nothing but negative comments! kinda sucks, but i guess that's really WHY you get an honesty box. people don't really have a problem saying nice things to your face, it's the mean ones that they can't say to you.

It isn't very difficult to see why
You are the way you are
Doesn't take a genius to realise
That sometimes life is hard
It's gonna take time
But you'll just have to wait
You're gonna be fine
But in the meantime

Come over here lady
Let me wipe your tears away
Come a little nearer baby
Coz you'll heal over
Heal over
Heal over someday

And I don't wanna hear you tell yourself
That these feelings are in the past
You know it doesn't mean they're off the shelf
Because pain's built to last
Everybody sails alone
But we can travel side by side
Even if you fail
You know that no one really minds

Come over here lady
Let me wipe your tears away
Come a little nearer baby
Coz you'll heal over
Heal over
Heal over someday

Don't hold on but don't let go
I know it's so hard
You've got to try to trust yourself
I know it's so hard, so hard

Come over here lady
Let me wipe your tears away
Come a little nearer baby
Coz you'll heal over
Heal over
Heal over someday

Yeah you're gonna heal over

I've finally almost beaten Jenn in Monopoly. My brother's skills haven't rubbed off on me at all, and it's been pure luck that's gotten me this far lol.

I've decided that I'm going to be staying here in Edmonton at least through the summer. The next step is to figure out how I'm going to get all of my stuff here and what to do about Maui. I miss her so much, she is MY cat and I want her here with me, especially if I'm now staying beyond April. Jenn's allergic though, she can't be in the same house as a cat which is the only thing that sucks about living here. I feel as if I can't go home for Christmas without bringing her back with me.

Edmonton has really grown on me. Now that I know my way around, I feel much better. Everyone kept telling me that I would miss home and then suddenly, you would fall in love with Edmonton. And I really do love it here... I'm excited for our first snowfall. Soon I'll be able to afford to take short trips home, and once all of my things are here I'll feel way better and fully settled in.

The past week has had it's ups and downs for me. But the ups were really high, I've met some more fantastic people and am starting to really connect to all my roomies. Friday night was super fun... Pictures are in my Facebook "October II" album if you're interested in seeing them. I'm starting to feel really good about being here, and I feel optomistic about this coming year.

This is it. This night has been a huge stepping stone in my life. I know in a couple weeks I can look back and not be crying, I know in a couple months I'll be able to look back and start feeling like myself, I know in a couple more months I'll be able to look back and be happy about my decision. But right now it sucks.

I'm beautiful. I have a compassionate personality. I have a warm smile. Some day a guy will see me for who I really want to be seen. Who has the same deep love for me as I have for them. Who loves me for being ME.

I think I would have actually broken if I didn't have people here who love and support me. Thanks to a lot of breakthroughs and realizations, I finally have to put this part of me to rest. And I'm finally confident that I can go through with that.

One day, things will be normal... We'll... I'll.. be able to look back and laugh about this point. One day I'll be able to say I love you, no strings attached, just here it is and there's nothing more. And I wish it could be different. More than anything in this world I'm thankful for what you've done for me and given me.

I'm just making memories.

Last night I made the hugest mistake since I've come to Alberta. My hair's been growing out and for the first time in a long time, I could see my natural hair colour. So I'm like sweet, when I get my hair dyed next [at a salon] I'll go back to my normal hair colour and that'll be nice. Maybe put some light brown streaks in it, etc.

THEN we go to this really cool store on Whyte and Jodi decides she's gonna go like, a maroon-y purple. To do this she has to buy a box of bleach, and I'm thinking... Well, I've always wanted to try blonde. BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER IN ALL OF MY HAIR DYING SCEMES. I don't even want to go to work tonight, I hate it that much! Jenn and Regan haven't even seen it yet cuz they went to bed before we were finished.

So I figure, give my hair a few weeks to breathe, use some hair repair stuff in the meantime. But I have to get this fixed before Erica gets here! No pictures for the next couple weeks... I can't have anyone from home seeing it :-S Siccccck.

I've finally posted pictures :-)
If you wanna take a look, they're on
my facebook page.

"You can't lie to me. I can hear your face!" -Geoff

Oh man. This Thanksgiving weekend has been... interesting these past couple days!

Maui was playing tonight with the salt & pepper shakers. She dropped the pepper onto the carpet and after investigating it, began to sneeze and sneeze. That's how I knew it was the pepper and not the salt!

$140 bucks later, my laptop is working again! No more cold trecks to the library every day! Just goes to show how much technology and the world wide web is so much apart of my life now. I can barely go a day without it if I know I can get to it. I'm sure I could have gotten used to no internet, but it really is almost a must for me. I need to be able to stay in touch with people to NOT go crazy!

Speaking of staying in touch with people, I get to see Krissi and Anna in less than half an hour! I'm so stoked to see them. I really wish Jo could have come out with them, but at least we can catch up and they can spill me all the latest news from home.

Last night Jenn and I had a pretty intense conversation. She really made me look at myself from someone else looking at me... Assessing where I am in my life and where I want to be. And all the confusion in between which really is INSANE and I can barely wrap my head around everything when I really sit down and think. What do I want? How can I get it? Why don't I feel comfortable with who Sharon is? What's missing? What do I need to change? How can I change that? Who is Sharon? Questions go on and on. Sometimes I really wish I had my own personal psychiatrist. I'd lay everything out and then HERE, you figure out what's going through this brain.

I know that there's something big out there for me. I have no idea what it is, but I'm willing to give myself credit that I'm not a failure... But I really have to work at what it is I want [once I actually figure that out]. It makes me excited for the future, excited to really dig into myself and go through the piss and shit that kills people. It's time for me to think about what I'm passionate about and start pursuing it.

I really think last night was kind of like a breakthrough for me. I needed someone to talk to me. I needed to realize that this will never get any better if I don't work at it. Good thing I'm willing to!

I have nothing exciting to report. Minus the fact that my laptop is broken so I've been going to the library everyday. My mom would be happy to hear that!

I'm homesick RIGHT NOW. I'm all emo cuz Jodi's going home for Thanksgiving, and I wish I was going to be going home as well.

I'VE FINALLY SLEPT. I went to bed at like 1 last night and got up at... 2? this afternoon. And I'm still tired. All I want to go is go back to sleep. Oh my GOSH it feels good to be sleeping more than four hours at a time :-P

Last night, Jenn and Regan took Jodi and I to the Parliment building. It was goregous! They showed us "the purple effect", something that I can't explain... You have to expierence it for yourself. I'm so excited to show Erica when she comes. I've also been planning out other stuff for all of us to do when Erica gets here! She arrives THE day of our Halloween party, so right off the plane she gets to go to a party. I want to do the whole touristy West Ed thing with her, she'll love that. And so will Jodi and I.

Ok I better get up and have a shower or I'm in danger of falling asleep again.

To bed around 6 and up around 8:30... I really hope my body doesn't get used to this. HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MUCH I HATE BEING SICK?!?!? This sucks so harsh and I wish I was at home with my Mom close at hand to comfort me.

I woke up a while ago and everything was so surreal to me. I was so confused. The combination of Share not wearing glasses, just waking up, and being sick is NOT the greatest feeling in the world. It SUCKS being sick like this. I haven't been this sick in SOOOO long. I miss the days where I was sick and my Mom would take care of me and people would stop off with special healthy fruit smoothies and ginger ale. Man, was I living the life then.

On the upside, my roomies have been very compassionate, especially Jenn... serving me cough drops and letting me have her humidifier in my room. I love my roomies, and how we randomly sit outside on a Sunday morning and catch up. How we make hemp creations together. How have picked out MUST SEE MOVIES, and the first one we watched was The Last Unicorn. OMG, my siblings would have died to watch that movie again.

Jodi is safe and sound in Edmonton as of Saturday night. We hung out yesterday, paroozing late night stores and getting familiarized with the area. Jodi brought me pictures from home, and I'm stoked to put them up on my Ikea magnetic board! Lol, seriously my room is so bare. I should keep it messy just so that it actually looks lived in.

I guess I should settle back down into bed with a book so I can fall asleep again. There's no way I can get up at 5:30 and NOT crash later, so I might as well try and sleep more now. DAMN COLD!

I'm really trying to get out of my sleeping late routine that I've started up since I got to my new home. The thing was, I would wake up at a regular time, 9 or 10 and go back to sleep. So this morning I forced myself up. Jenn and Regan have confronted me about my sleeping late and getting myself depressed 'cuz I miss home when I have nothing to do. Keep me busy, and I'm fine. But I guess that's how it usually goes.

I feel like I'm really starting to get into the swing of things here with not being as homesick and making more friends. I'm glad I've clicked with the people in my house. Last night we ate pizza and watched Pretty in Pink. I love the people here, it's fun being the youngest in a group.

Last night I said my goodbye to Josh, as he's now on a flight to Australia. Seems to be the trend nowadays! Fortunatly, he's only going for six weeks and really, I can't miss him too much 'cuz I left first! Jodi will be here on Saturday hopefully, and I'm getting stoked to see her! She'll be living about 25 minutes away from us, so I'll get to see her as she goes to school.

No luck yet on a second day job. I'm looking forward to my shift tonight as I finally have comfortable shoes to wear. 9 o'clock will hit and I won't want to colapse for once!

Mkay, so there's a few things I've learned since coming to Edmonton.

1. IT IS COLD.
...And people laugh at you when you mention that you still have to purchase an umbrella. "OH my lord, Share. WHEN have you seen anyone holding an umbrella here? You'd be such a geek." It barely rains [supposedly... although it's done so thrice since I got here], and the snow is DRY. Which I still can't wrap my head around. Dry snow, what's that? OH and my waterproof jacket idea was also shot down. "Seriously, Share. No point." I guess we'll see when... October [lol] hits.

2. BOYS HIT ON YOU MORE
What, is there like a shortage of chicks in this city? I mean don't get me wrong, I don't mind guys flirting with me. Hello self-confidence booster! But it's funny because almost every one of them is so blunt.

3. DRUGS ARE PLENTIFUL
First off, don't worry Mom and Dad. But I definitly have never seen so many deals go down EVER. Like, right in front of me at the bus stop it's happened like four times now. I mean, I've lived in Cloverdale my whole life so maybe I just don't get out much. But it's really sad when you see a fifty-five year old man picking up a baggie of whatever the dealer has.

What else have I learned? I miss my cat more than ANYTHING. And I'm totally okay with anyone calling me lame. But she's my baby and I miss her so much. I've learned that my brother is HORRIBLE with keeping in touch. C'mon, I can't be the only one pushing facebook on him! I've learned that I really miss the company of friends that I didn't see a lot at home. I've learned that no matter how bitchy I am to her, or how bitchy she is to me, I'll always be my Momma's girl.

PS. After working an Oilers' game, I REALLY REALLY wanna go see a Canucks game at home! I've never been to a game and it looks so exciting lol!

Hey there, Erica
What's it like in Abbotsford
I'm 100,050 miles away
And I'm super really bored
Without you...
West Ed can't shine as bright as you,
I swear it's true.

Hey there, Erica
Don't you worry about the distance.
I'm right there if you get lonely,
Give your answering machine another listen
Close your eyes.
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side.

Oooooh it's what you feel for meeeeee x4

Hey there, Erica
I know weekends are gettin' hard,
But just believe me, girl
Some day I'll write you a nice little card.
We'll have it good.
We'll have the Simple Life we knew we would.
My word is good.

Hey, there Erica
I've got so much left to say
If every single text I wrote to you
Would make a better day
I'd write them all
And even closer friends we'd fall
We'd have it all

Oooooh it's what you feel for meeeeee x4

A million miles seems pretty far
But they've got trains and planes and cars
I'd bus it to you if I had no other way
Our parents would make fun of us
And we'll just snort along because we know
That they can't understand us to this day
Erica I can promise you
That by the time the snow gets through
The lower mainland will never ever be the same
And we're to blame

Hey there, Erica
You be good and you better miss me
Three more months and Christmas will be here
And I'll be flying back to you
You know it's cuz I miss you too
We can do whatever we want, foo
Hey there, Erica here's to you
This one's for you

Oooooh it's what you feel for meeeeee x4
Ohohhhh Oh ohhhhhhh oh OOOOOOOOOOoohhhh

i would give anything for me to be holding maui right now.

Unless you've been living "under a rock", you obviously know that Britney is starting her comeback. You also must know that she's obvs still on drugs, needs a head shrink, needs rehab, needs Jesus, etc. But I'm rooting for her to pull through. I wanna see her come back like she was eighteen again, looking hot and feeling great. OH and that she's come to terms with her Mom and picked up some parenting skills [DON'T stay up til 5 in the morning when you have the VMA's the next day, DON'T party and leave Tater Tot and Small Fry with the babysitter... Or worse, your "cousin" Ali Sims.]

Here are some videos for your enjoyment that I laughed at. I hope Britney's sitting at home right now, browzing youtube realizing that she needs to shape up. When the whole world is making fun of you, it's NOT a good thing honey. Props to Perez Hilton, Geoff, and Stevie for the findings of these videos.

Great news! I've found a job! I've been told that in Edmonton, you can basically choose what job you want because EVERYWHERE is hiring. So, I ventured out today with my new resume to this huge stadium. I totally forget what it's called, but it's the eqivalent of like, BC Place. The Oilers play their home games there, and lots of concerts are scheduled [the next one being Beyonce lol]. So I got the job! Jenn is employed there as well, and we have orientation tomorrow night. I don't yet know exactly what I'll be doing. Looks like I'll probably be catering or something like that. The wage depends on what job you get, so hopefully I'll be making at least $10/hour. This is a night, part time job... Leaving room earlier for a day, full time job. Miranda is passing on my resume at Telus as of this morning, so we'll see how that goes. But, YEY! I have my first paycheque in more than a MONTH coming soon!

This afternoon I was a total geek and decided to take pictures of my new home so you guys could see where I live! So here's the virtual tour.



Our home is on the street corner, right next to a bus stop.


When you walk in the front door, this is the staircase that take you into our place.


This is our living room... I know, very empty. It's to the right as soon as you walk in.


Jenn in the kitchen!


My bedroom. Also very empty. Send me pictures in the mail so I can put stuff up on my walls :-D


Our backyard.


This is the outside of the garage... AKA Foreman's Basement.


Inside the garage. This is where we hang out.

So, I'd love love love getting some pictures that any of you have lying around that I could decorate my room with! I only have a picture of Maui here, hee hee. I bought a magnetic board from Ikea so I could stick pictures up. If you want to, just ask me for my address :-D

I'm watching the Stewie Griffin movie for the second time, and I've watched A Walk To Remember on and off twice as well. Needless to say, they're really the only 2 movies downstairs. Poor Jenn, she's totally memorized both. So I'm going to have to open an account at a video rental, or start collecting more dvd's.

Downtown Edmonton is nice. I went with Jenn yesterday. It's close to our house, and the bus stop is RIGHT outside the house. You can also take the train downtown which is part of the transit system. It's so weird being on a train rather than a skytrain.

Last night we went to a bar with lots of people. They have this happy hour that you can get highballs for a buck from 8-9. There was like, no one there before 8 and then the place was crowded!

My roomies want my sister to come visit! Hehee, I talk about you so much, Jo. I told them that she wants to come out for her Spring Break and they're gonna push their April party to March so that she be here for it!

One month til I get to see Krissi and Anna, yey!!!!

It's 5:30am and I can't sleep. You would think that after having less than three hours of sleep the night before, I would be out for the next 24 hours! I guess sleeping on the floor doesn't agree with me... I'm not 12 anymore.

Edmonton is the same but SO different than what I'm used to! This is what's weird for me: I realized today that for the first time in my life, I'll be totally completly dependant on maps, bus routes, and asking for directions. I couldn't even tell you if I'm suppose to go up or down the street to get to the Save-On-Foods that I visited earlier. I'm going to be following Jenn around like a puppy for a while. I've decided to put the Edmonton map [the one that I laughed at when my Mom gave it to me] to good use and tape it to the wall of my room until I'm accustomed.

I like our house. I have my own room, which Jenn is in right now... And I'm in hers just for the night. The landlady had to fix something in Jenn's room, so she's moving her stuff in here when she's done and then I'll be able to put away my stuff. I've only met one of the girls upstairs, Regan. I met her a couple winters ago, but she's nice. Their place is more "lived in" considering she's been there for three years. Our place is really empty, we only have one couch in the living room, a lamp, and a TV. But I think we're getting some unwanted furniture from upstairs so that'll actually make it feel like a home. There's a shed in the backyard, which is like their "Foreman's Basement". It's really cute, they have couches, a radio, a table, carpet, etc. where they hang out a lot.

Driving from the airport into Edmonton was so crazy! There's SO many places advertising that they're hiring. I'm going to talk to Miranda tomorrow and get going on getting a job. I think I'll feel better and more at home once I'm making money.

I miss everyone already! It's going to be hard to get used to a completly new place. My mom and sister have already emailed me about my cat and her weird behavior after getting fixed, and I'm ready to jump on a plane back home. I just wanna be chilling on the couch, watching Daniel and Geoff downing their energy drinks as I play with Maui. I want to be able to look out the window and see Heather and Michelle across the street! I want to be talking to people on MSN who I know I could just drive to their house [and get there in less than 20 hours!!!].

Anyway, I should probably try and get a few more hours of sleep before my day actually starts. Someone kiss Maui for me!

tonight was amazing.
i love my friends, i love that i got to say goodbye to everyone.
3 cakes? HOLY.
i love hearing old memories that i had not thought about in so long.
i love that everyone is supporting me and comforting me so much.
johanna, heather, melissa, geoff, laura, beth, joshua,
michelle, jodi, josh. i <3 you guys... and my mom and brother lol

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i loved yesterday.
lunch with jodi getting drunk off long island's
and talking about everything and ANYTHING.
... and hot waiters & free alchy.
dinner with geoff,
sipping wine at a greek resterant, telling stories,
giggling at each other because of the great wine.
and then a horribly bad movie that we laughed through.

I'M ON THE PLANE IN 10 HOURS!!!!
...better go pack.

Your smile is contagious
Your jokes outragous
Memories with you will never fade
When there's many more to be made
Every tear that I cry
Every broken heart I sigh
For all of this, I wouldn't trade.

i can't stop crying.
OMG, seriously. i should go have a period or something.
then at least i could blame my emotions on being a GIRL.
i'm still hurting from 2 people who were my life for so long, and i finally really took action on my feelings. at least we're talking about it now but the hurt is still there.

i'm going to miss my friends.

i'm going to miss your goregous smile, your understanding of everything that i say to you, our girl talks, your hugs... did i mention your goregous smile?

i'm going to miss your crazy stories, your compliments, and YES even your INSANE ghetto-ness... and how i feel so loved by you.

i'm going to miss your mouth, your laugh, our late nights, and how i've finally found someone who i can be myself around who won't judge me.

i'm going to miss you living accross the street, the random visits, your beautiful smile, the long talks, even your allergies lol!

i'm going to miss talking about preggers tests, the girly talks, memories of past endevours that we always bring up, and your warm and PRETTY persona.

i'm going to miss being around you, you saving my ass, even your terrible car [it's done-zo! let it go!], your accomplishments, your reasuring pep talks, your hidden liquer, and how i feel that everything will be great when you're around.

...and i'm going to miss my cat.

of course there's people who i haven't mentioned specifically, but if i've seen you in the past couple of weeks you know i care about you and that i'll miss being in your company.

Oh, to live on sugar mountain
With the barkers and the colored balloons,
You cant be twenty on sugar mountain
Though youre thinking that youre leaving there too soon,
Youre leaving there too soon.

Its so noisy at the fair
But all your friends are there
And the candy floss you had
And your mother and your dad.

Oh, to live on sugar mountain
With the barkers and the colored balloons,
You cant be twenty on sugar mountain
Though youre thinking that youre leaving there too soon,
Youre leaving there too soon.

Theres a girl just down the aisle,
Oh, to turn and see her smile.
You can hear the words she wrote
As you read the hidden note.

Oh, to live on sugar mountain
With the barkers and the colored balloons,
You cant be twenty on sugar mountain
Though youre thinking that youre leaving there too soon,
Youre leaving there too soon.

Now youre underneath the stairs
And youre givin back some glares
To the people who you met
And its your first cigarette.

Oh, to live on sugar mountain
With the barkers and the colored balloons,
You cant be twenty on sugar mountain
Though youre thinking that youre leaving there too soon,
Youre leaving there too soon.

Now you say youre leavin home
cause you want to be alone.
Aint it funny how you feel
When youre findin out its real?

Oh, to live on sugar mountain
With the barkers and the colored balloons,
You cant be twenty on sugar mountain
Though youre thinking that youre leaving there too soon,
Youre leaving there too soon.

Oh, to live on sugar mountain
With the barkers and the colored balloons,
You cant be twenty on sugar mountain
Though youre thinking that youre leaving there too soon,
Youre leaving there too soon.

I have so much to say.
Why won't you listen?

Woot! Swing Dancing tonight with my ladies! I haven't gone for more than a year, it should be a blasty blast. It's gonna bring me back to CBC days when we went all the time!

I feel so... excluded, out of the loop, awkward... whenever I go to my church. I've been calling it my Mom's church to anyone asking what I'm doing on Sunday. I'm not sure if that's me feeling distanced from a place where I used to feel like home or if it's just me being ashamed to admit that I'm going to church.

I really do wish that I still had that connection, and I realize that that's nobody's fault but mine. Hopefully I can find a church in Edmonton where I feel that warmth again. I'll have to remember to ask Neal and Jenn.

Edmonton. In. 10. Days. Holy crap. I'm getting super excited! I started packing up yesterday [I know, I know... should have been packed up ages ago], and putting away all of these memories in my memory box [Yes, I know that I'm extremly girly], is kinda tough to do! Also fun though, cuz I've been reading journal entries, notes, etc etc. And I know that I'll be making more awesome memories in the next year.

So this next week is gonna be difficult for me what with the whole packing AND saying goodbye thing. Gah. I wish that I could take my friends with me! And my cat lol, but don't worry.. No bitterness Jenn. Maui will be happy with Tanner and the rest of my family.

TWO days til Jenn gets here, FOUR days til she gets back to Edmonton, TEN days til I join her and TWENTY days til the Toga Party. LOL.

TONIGHT was the most awkward, halarious encounter that I've ever had...

Me and Said Friend were having a chat and carmel machiatto/orange frap and Starbucks, chilling on the outside tables when I hear this squeeking sound. I causually look over into the playful laughing eyes of a boy of 12 on a bike, squeezing the handle breaks casually and grinning at us.

So of course, I can't concentrate on our conversation, and every time I laugh, the boy laughs. I try not to encourage him and don't look his way. After 5 or so minutes of the laughing and squeezing of squeeky breaks, he bikes away.

I look into Said Friend's eyes and we both laugh, with confused "WTF" looks. We're still laughing at the awkwardness of it, when the 12 year old rounds the corner and stops yet again feet from us. This time I look pointedly at him wondering where his parents are when he starts entertaining us with his talk.

Now, this whole time I honestly don't know if this child is mentally handicapped or just a regular kid trying to get some laughs. At one point I actually look around for a camera in case we're the newest subjects of a YouTube phenomenon. So I can't really laugh at him, since I don't know what's up with him but I do have to look into the window the opposite way and stiffle some giggles.

"Did you know that Starbucks is made out of cow's shit?"
"I swear a lot when I'm out of the house. Like say fuck and shit a lot 'cuz my Mom's not around."
"My Dad says my Mom is a crack addict." --> At which my oh-so-halarious friend says, "That explains it."
"You should replace all the B's in the alphabet with F's. Then Starbucks would be Starfucks."
"Do you have herpes? Can you buy herpes? Can I get herpes?"

By this point, we feel efficently awkward and decide to jet into the nearby Safeway to ditch the child. He starts following us and saying something like, "Well, who will I talk to?" At which point I mention the group of older people sitting outside having a smoke. So as we walk away he goes to the group and says, "Um, those people said to ask you about Herpes." as he points to our hurried bodies escaping into the store.

WOW.

Don't ever do drugs, kids.

I'm at my dad's.
There's spiders at home. There's spiders here.
I feel as if I'm being attacked by them.
My heart rate is through the roof,
I'm not sure if I'll be able to sleep.
But that's not cuz of the spiders.

There's this red light blinking on the phone right next to me.
Probably indicating that there's un-listened-to messages.
Suprisingly, it's not driving me crazy.
But this space bar is so loud.
THAT'S driving me crazy.

I thought a lot today.
I had quite a bit of time to myself.
So I thought.
A lot.
About past, present, future.
Pretty much everything.
I was sad and happy.
I probably even laughed,
by myself,
alone.

I'm looking at the spider that I smooshed on the wall.
I was very brave in smooshing it.
I jumped up on the desk and took one of these
DVDs that are lying here.
[First Night with Sean Connery to be exact]
And I smooshed it before it could scurry down the wall,
Right to my feet where I would be unproetcted by its venom.

I hate spiders, I really do.

Tonight was good fun all around.

I was able to finally spend some time with the loud blonde one [lol], and a couple other "friends" hahaha! We went to Ihop for supper... LOVE pancakes for dinner! And then we traveled to Castle Fun Park and made attepmts and beating each other at every game we set our eyes upon.

It was good seeing Erica, I haven't seen her in a month since she moved out of my suite! And it was also good seeing Jake and Ian. Although I must put in writing that Jake really needs to chill with the whole stalking Erica thing lol! Sheesh boy. You're... 22? Seeing Ian again was good. He's a very interesting guy.

My mom showed another 2 people the suite today. Looks like she'll have no problem getting someone in for the 1st of September! I'm leaving in 22 days! It's crazy. I'm excited to see how it goes being away from home. Wonder if I'll survive. Some of my friends are saying when I come back for Christmas, I'll stay home.

I'm super stoked to see Neal and Jenn of course. I saw Jenn last Christmas but it's been forever and a day since I've seen Neal's beautiful face so I'm quite joyous about that.

It looks like my kitten staying here while I'm gone is growning on my Mom. I can't take her with me because Jenn and another roommate are allergic, so I've been trying to convince my Mom to keep her her. This sounds lame, but I'm gonna miss Maui more than most of the people I'm leaving behind lol :P She's my baby, I'll be counting down the days til Christmas when I get to see her again!

So obviously I got tired of having to do EVERYTHING myself with having a google blog. I like the simple lazy way of just typing in my url, clicking post, typing whatever, and publishing it. Google pages is WAY more complicated for my likings, more for the use of a real website.

I'M FINALLY DONE HAPO. My lord, I didn't know what to think at first when I had finished. Seriously, the first word out of my mouth was "NOOOOOOO!!!" Not sure looking back if it was dissapointment or just the realization that it's FINISHED. Anyone who wants to talk about it, I'm all for it. So if you're not finished DON'T CLICK THE COMMENTS SECTION. If you do, don't get mad at me for spoiling anything.

I honestly don't feel like I should be doing anything right now. I feel that I should be showing my respect to Rowling's characters. I wouldn't feel RIGHT about going to watch a movie or anything right now! I just wanna grieve over the loss of a beautiful thing. And to think back in the eighth grade I was refusing to read Hapo 'cuz "everyone else was doing it". Thank god for my Mom and her forceful librarian ways.

....I still wanna marry Ron...