Share's Sharing

There are so many things I want to say out loud, so many that I want to clarify, so many things that I've realized, so many epiphanys, so much crying, so much fusteration, so many questions, so many thing I want to yell.

But I won't because now's not the time. Maybe never's not the time, and I'll have to be alright with that.

I wasn't sure that a human being could feel so many freaking emotions at the same time! This is definitly a new-found realization, that I don't particularly like. I'm okay with feeling one emotion at a time, thanks. Three just puts you for a ride, and anything above that just makes me want to break down.

God knew this day had to come. From the start he knew. And he's promised me that things WILL feel better. Why does the world have to keep going on? Why can't people understand what I feel, and why can't I just feel better, dammit.

I'm so angry right now. And confused and hurt. See what I mean about the triple emotion thing? Every day that I think it's getting better, something throws me through a loop-hole and I end up back where I was at the start. I'm not crazy, I know that. Lord knows I feel like I am. Half the time I don't even think about it, the other half my mind is going around in circles looking for a way to get out.

I love being in an all-girl's house. I get different opinions, ideas, and advice whenever I want. We sat around the living room last night and read "He's Just Not Into You". He's just not into you if you've made a pass at him before and were turned down. If a guy is truly into you, you won't have to work that hard! They'll pursue you. Hmmm. To be pursued, eh?

Oh, to just have one day. One day where I think of nothing that I don't want to think about. One day that I'm not analyzing everything that's happened. One night that I can just sleep... Without lying in bed scrutinizing myself. Without having all this anger inside me. I've realized whenever I think or talk about it, I automatically frown, and my 20 and a half year old forehead already has enough wrinkles, thanks.