Share's Sharing

Sooo we hit up the Vancouver airport tonight. We checked to see how much it would cost to spend a night at the Fairmount... around $360! Man if I was spending a month's rent on one night in a hotel I wouldn't even sleep! Gotta make it worth it.

I also got to lounge on a mattress, drink beer, and watch Russel Peters. I mean, what could beat that? Well add a certain red-haired Irish girl to the mix and it becomes GOLD. Oh my goodness, we're halarious.

I realized tonight that we're all totally classic. No matter how much time I spend away from this place, I come back and I just love love love the company of my friends. And it's been pretty amazing!

I love how it's like the same thing every late night we're out... You say you're tired, and you wanna go to bed. So in my head I'm like, alright I'm tired too.... But you KNOW I gotta push for more time out just 'cuz. I got home and I'm like, oh man we do this all the time. Have the raddest time and then we get "fake mad" and try and out-do each other. I just want you to give in! It'll happen... 'Cuz I'M the greatest.

Last night was also one of the greatest nights of my life. I honestly wish I could just hire someone to follow us around and tape everything that happens. Cereal, who knew two 15 year old boys could be THAT entertaining? And adding the rest of us in just made the night so much fun! It was TOTS worth the lack of sleep!

Anyway, off to bed... The siblings will be waking up in a few hours to go to school :-P Darn, I have to sleep in.

You know you love me.

best.frickin.night.ever.

Looking for someone who wants to room with me. I'm finding a place for early June. May is even better if that works out. Looking for a place close to transit. [Preferably sky train]. My price range [my half of rent & utilities] is up to $700.

I'm so done with it.

Shorter version stolen from Regan via Amber

Ten things to say to ten different people:

1] Even after all the shit I've put you through, you've stuck with me through "thick n thin', and I'm so sorry for hurting you. I love you through all everything, you will always be the ONE person in this world I can call my best friend.

2] I wish that I could face you and tell you with all certainty that although I'd never thought you beautiful before, you are truly a goregous person. You've taught me so much, and I really am forever in debt to you.

3] You aren't happy. You convince yourself of this... But why put yourself through this when you can do SO much better?

4] So many awesome memories, so many skipped classes, so many laughs. I love you tons and I'm so excited to see how life pans out for us. I'm glad I can count on you for a good coffee talk.

5] I cling to every piece of advice you give me. You encourage me when I'm feeling at my worst, and everything just makes sense when I talk to you, and I respect you so much.

6] You've made the transition of becoming independant fun! I love the early morning wake ups, the talks, and I'm excited to see what happens in the boy department :-P

7] A year ago, you had the title of best friend's girlfriend. Now I'm so happy to call you one of my best friends! I'm so glad we were able to tackle this city together and have so much fun.

8] We could talk for hours obsessing over "what this meant" and crying to one another. You're beautiful and I'm so happy you're with me for the rest of my life!

9] Whoever thought that the little girl next door would grow into one of the most halarious people I know! I'm so glad to have you in my life... However far apart from each other we are. I wish I was coming to the Big City with you!!!!

10] I'm so freaking proud of every little thing you do. You amaze me every time we talk with how mature you're getting!

11] We survived Hell together, we can survive anything. You're funny and can lighten up any situation. So many inside jokes, I wouldn't even know where to start!

12] You were my first real love, and I'm glad we have such a deep connection. I hope one day we'll be arguing about which of our families' will host Christmas dinner. Between us we'll have a full hockey team of kids, right?

13] You always have encouraging advice for me. I love catching up with you and discussing boy issues. No one else will ever be able to scare me with a certain test that happened to be taken in Taco Bell.

14] I know that you'll go far with your life. You can put anything you put your mind to. You've made some amazing friends and I'm so happy with the relationship that we have.

15] I miss you, and I wish I had the guts to re-connect with you.

Dear Nameless,

It hurts me when I see you cry. It hurts me that you don't see
how much you're being hurt. It hurts me when you're angry
at one more thing that they've done to you. It hurts me that
you don't see you're in a bad relationship. It hurts me that
there are many better things out there.

They tell you to drop it, to move on. They don't get why you
can't just forget it and set your sights on another.

I understand.

But there's a light at the end of this hole of a relationship.
I hope you can eventually realize that it's not worth the
hurt and ignorance. Things will get better. They believed
in me, I believe in you.

Love, Share

Although I know there are a lot of things beyond my control [what? really?!], there is the occasional goal that I can work towards. In five years I will be 26 years old, which will come fast considering I feel like I was in the eleventh grade just yesterday. Hopefully I will have these following goals accomplished or at least worked on by then.

*** Completely out of debt with student loans & the ongoing bank withdraw machine called "Mom"

*** Get hired by a non-profit organization

*** Go on a trip overseas [this hopefully to be included with the non-profit]

*** Figure out what I want to do carer-wise

*** Either be in school or graduating if I need a degree for the carer I end up choosing

*** Find permanent residence in the lower mainland

*** Be healthy

*** Complete therapy [Or at least start going!]

*** Find a hair color that suits me :-P

I'm sitting here at work, feet up, headphones in, Panic at the Disco telling me to swear to shake it up. Oh the things I have to endure for a paycheque. Poor me. I have a call every five minutes or so asking for a cab company here, a pizza place there... You'd be suprised at how many drunk Canadians there are out there on a weekday! And lots of lonely people who [for the hell of it] call the operator. Already tonight I've been told that love will find me in 3 to 6 months, that the sound of my two palms rubbing together is sexy [WTF!], and just general flirting so I don't bill them [If they flirt, I bill them twice! Jk jk!]

Oh, Panic at the Disco. Totally bring back memories from when I was in grade 12! Driving to grad pictures, fearing we might be late due to traffic, not really actually worrying about it! I've said this many times... I love LOVE LOVE hearing a song that bring back a particular memory!

As annoying, horrific and lame high school was, there's a lot of great memories I've stored up from "the teen years], especially grades 11 and 12.

I always rolled my eyes and played being overjoyed when anyone older took me on a "trip down memory lane". I'd nod and smile when shown an old classroom, school, neighborhood from their past... Appeasing them by laughing and nodding at the right places, really not caring all that much.

Now I've become that person! Trips back to FVC always include sentences that start with, "When I was here..." and "This is so different from when..." I laughed when I saw my old locker still in the same messy state that I had it in, sat on the carpeted stands near the drama room where we would practice our lines [or goof off], and showed off where our designated lunch spot was.

I remember a lot of Kayla-teasing... Including "he lifts me up!" I still have no idea what that means. Many art classes where we would laugh way too much, avoiding the stare of our freaky grizzly bear art teacher, and hear Josh teasing Laya... And he could do it with only ONE word... LEVENTE! Bible class was boring, yet tolerable for Kayla and I with the guys that tag-teamed with each other against our Ellen Dejenerous teacher. And I'll never forget some of our "mentoring" times with Josh! And who can forget those bus rides...

See what Panic at the Disco starts??

what do you do when...

you like a boy.
he has a girlfriend.
his girlfriend is awesome.
dammit.

This year has been one of the first years in a long time that I have many female, close friends surrounding me. And I really appreciate it! Don't get me wrong, it's great having guy friends in your life, but this is the first time I've been completely surrounded by females both here and in B.C.

I've come to really rely on another female's opinion. It's very true that girls just PLAIN understand one another. A guy can nod and smile, agreeing with what you say, but rarely do they speak up with their opinion... rather keeping their mouths shut. Probably in fear that we'll start picking apart every sentence word by word, facial expression, and every movement. Which will, in turn, confuse us more we'll just end up going back to our own sex in hopes that one of them will be able to help us pick apart and explain "what he meant by that was..."

Someone told me earlier this year that it was basically impossible to be good friends with a man. I can really nod and agree with that sentence. Of course, it's easier when said friend has a significant other... There's no confusion, there's no sexual pressure. But where do you draw that line with a single guy? What if there's tension on one end, even both ends? That's not really a friendship to me. Because that person will always have an alternative reason to being your friend. Is it possible to be good friends with a single man? I used to think so... And what ABOUT the whole relationship thing? I'd love to be friends before I reach the status of "couple". Did I just completely vito my previous statement?

Well, until further research I will remain relying on my girlfriends!

Thank you for the phone calls, by the way. I love you!

A friendship goes two ways.
A friendship is honest.
A friendship involves effort.
A friendship shouldn't make you feel like crap.


"I think he may have wanted me to break it off with him so he didn't have to

but I kept trying to make it work and I think he got fed up."


I think it's time.