Monday, October 13th
is my life really in shambles that much?
i'll take the blame for the mistakes that i've made this weekend, [and i have] but honestly you know that i'm a push-over and i have trust issues with people. i have felt taken advantage of from you before in the past, but never have i brought it up because i don't want to lose friendships and i'm too much of a pansy to speak my mind. obviously you have no problem speaking yours.
am i just a crappy friend? here i am thinking that certain people aren't worth my time and effort.. but maybe it's me who people actually have a problem with and i just am completly oblivious.
i'm tired of hearing rumors about me, i'm tired of feeling upset. i'm trying to do this the way i thought best and believe me, everything is still a struggle. things just don't get automatically better overnight, unfortunatley. i'm not asking for sympathy but i've gone through more shit with my family than you could ever understand. stuff yourself full of turkey and excuse yourself from the table to watch tv... at least you have a family who wants you.
i feel like i've been supportive to you throughout the hard times in your life, and you have been right next to me through mine. i'm not telling you how to live your life, i need you to let me figure this out cuz it's about time that i did.
9:02 PM
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