Friday, October 3rd
sometimes i wish that i could pull an "eternal sunshine of a spotless mind" and erase you from my life.
i would have no memory of you and the loss that i feel would be full again. i wouldn't remember the good, but i would have no record of the bad and overall that would be just fine with me.
but you know what, if it wasn't you it would have been someone else. and the cycle would start over again... me wishing that i had never met him.
why do we have to go through so much hurt? is it really because it makes us "stronger"? i'm not fully convinced. i feel like that's the cop-out reason that your mom gives you when you cry to her about the new boy who's hurt your feelings.
life sucks sometimes.
don't get me wrong, i've had a lot to celebrate about and i will continually have future celebrations of my life. but life truly does suck sometimes.
i'm exhausted from sticking up for myself, i'm exhausted from being accused, being frowned upon.
i'm greatful for those who have given me the benefit of the doubt and loved me through this... god knows i don't deserve some of the sympathy.
relationships florish and fail. i'm begining to see that those hugs and hellos that you give me aren't exactly genuine. i can see through your crooked smile.
it's time to really live.
11:57 AM
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