Share's Sharing

I just found some blog entries from an old Nexopia account from three-ish years ago. I thought I would post one of the little diddies I did and then do it again for what I'm feeling right now.

March 26th, 2005

::I Am:: A girl -scared of growing up- in a woman's body.
::I Will:: Learn to appreciate changes.
::I Miss:: Care-free summer days with no worries.
::I Hear:: Myself crying at any time.
::I Smell:: Bannik bread, the ocean, dusty roads.
::I Have:: Many wants, but not needs.
::I Trust:: My mom's feelings above my own.
::I Worry:: That I will never experience a guy's love.
::I Regret:: Not telling Felicia that I loved her.
::I Love:: Talking with S & G
::I Dance:: When I'm alone, knowing I look ridiculous, but not caring.
::I Sing:: All the time, it makes me happy.
::I Can't Stand:: The way you make me feel when you're with her.
::I Loose:: All control.
::I Like:: Daydreaming about other times.
::I Listen to:: You like I'm a sponge sucking up water. I want to know more.
::I Need:: To get motivated.
::I Know:: That people care about me. Even if that's not you.
::I Hope:: That I will be beautiful in Your eyes.
::I hate:: Being left out.
::I am always:: Thinking about how this could be different.
::I want to:: Understand what you're thinking.
::I Crave:: A love that no friend could give.

Today

::I Am:: Feeling like I need to do something BIG.
::I Will:: Gradually figure out what's best for me.
::I Miss:: Your smell.
::I Hear:: Voices in my head [not scary ones!]
::I Smell:: Banana pancakes
::I Have:: So much love to give.
::I Trust:: That I will turn out alright.
::I Worry:: I went overboard.
::I Regret:: Not telling you what I truely think.
::I Love:: My roomies who keep me sane!
::I Dance:: When I feel like it.
::I Sing:: Not as much as I used to.
::I Can't Stand:: How manipulative you are.
::I Loose:: My head when I think.
::I Like:: When you smile.
::I Listen to:: Country music and Jan Arden.
::I Need:: To know that it's gonna be okay.
::I Know:: That this is where I need to be.
::I Hope:: That I find true romance.
::I Hate:: The roller coaster ride.
::I am always:: Regreting things I've said and done.
::I want to:: Get inside your head.
::I Crave:: Acceptance.

I got on the bus this morning, used my bus pass... then somehow lost my wallet from the time I used it on the bus until I went to get back ON the bus this afternoon.

I quickly scrambled back up to our floor, frantically searching with no success. Finally, I went back to the bus station hoping to beg my way on.

After missing two buses since I'd offically gotten off work, two pull up at the same time and I picked the first. I explained to the driver that I had lost my wallet with my money and bus pass in it, and thankfully he was merciful to me and let me stay on.

As we were nearing my stop, I asked him about a lost and found number that I could call to ask about my wallet just in case it had been left on the bus I took in the morning.

He reaches beside him and pulls out my wallet. "It wouldn't happen to be this one would it?" NO WAY!

I missed two buses, had the choice of getting on another two, and my wallet just so happened to be on that particular bus out of like 30 different ones. How cool is that?!?

Picture this:

You get up ten minutes earlier than you usually would, just do that you can add three more layers to your work ensemble. Making sure you're wearing two pairs of sock, you pull and zip up your boots, grab your purse wearing gloves and minutes and reach for the door handle. Bracing yourself, you pull the door open to find you really should have water-proofed your boots before Christmas. You adjust your touque over your ears and step into snow that almost reaches past your boots, freezing wind trying to push you back into the house, and snow flying up everywhere, clinging to every part of your body... especially [it seems], your uncovered face!

You start your treck down the walkway [it was JUST shoveled!], making a pitiful path. You breathe out your mouth, and your lungs feel like they may choke you. You breathe out your nose, and your nose hairs freeze instantly leaving you really wanting to pick it but NO you wouldn't dare taking your hands out of your pocket! You make it to the bus stop only to find it packed with people, and out of courtesy [and fear of a crowd of people in a place that measures 5 feet by 7 feet], you stand next to it, hoping that somehow it may shield you from the icy coldness and snow that is yes, still blowing into your face.

WELCOME TO MY MORNING.

Did I mention that it went down to -46 today? No? Well it did!!!!

I love the snow, I love the snow, I love the snow...

** He's got the ultimate situation: A great friend with all the benefits of a girlfriend, whom he can see or NOT see whenever he wants to.

** "Fear of intimacy" is an URBAN MYTH. Just something said when guys aren't into you.

** There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he's your boyfriend.

** Pets are God's way of saying, "Don't lower the bar just 'cuz you're lonely."

** Don't let your desire to be loved cloud your judegment while drinking.

** Love cures commitment-phobia!

** There's a guy out there who wants to marry YOU!

** Cut him off... Let him miss you.

** You are NOT easily forgotten. Let him find you when he's ready!


A guy says he doesn't want to be with you. Sometimes that guy realizes he's made the biggest mistake of his life. And then sometimes he doesn't. EITHER WAY your only job is to move on with you life and fast!

Life has had its ups and downs for me in the past couple years... Or since I've entered puberty, specifically :-P. One part of my life going on a "don't eat before this" rollar coaster ride is my faith life.

Oh, I've had the highs. I've definitly hit the lows. A man who I respect touched on the subject with me a while back. He said, "I know you haven't given up Christianity, Sharon. I see you stuggling and thinking through things. If you weren't struggling or thinking, then I would be worried." It's always been there... Or rather He's always been there. I just haven't been putting in the effort of forming a personal relationship with him EVER in my adult life.

It's really helped me... Being here in Edmonton... I was able to cut a lot of things that weren't exactly helping me with the whole "jesus is my friend" thing. I love being around my roomies and having discussions with them. They've been through at least nine years of Christian schooling between the two of them, they were both involvedat their churches, and have both participated in ministries. They've been my age, most likely confused about life just as much as I am and have been. I've learned a lot from them already and will continue to do so as I live here.

My short term goal [for however long it takes... Maybe it should be my long term goal :-P] is to really sit down and figure out what I want for my life. I know I want to be financially stable, get everything that needs to be payed off and dealt with. Figure out what I want to do, where I want to go, who I want to surround myself with. And God will defs be one of those relationships I'll be surrounding myself with.

Please keep me and my struggles in your thoughts.

...3 out of every 4 Anberlin songs describe exactly how i'm feeling at this moment!? It's kinda cool, but damn it can be depressing! Am I the only centimental person who takes lyrics and totally blows it into my own life?? Oh I know I'm walking into a "OH GOSH YOU'RE GIRLY" trap. But, man alive. I think it's time to take Anberlin OUT of the C.D. player...

I'm back from B.C., after being able to spend almost 2 weeks there! I already miss a ton of people and it's only my first full day of being home home. It's really nice being back and having Jenn and Regan around though. Like I told a million people while I was home, I wish both places would just be in one and I could have everyone I loved around me.

I watched so many movies while I was back... I think Juno won for the best movie though. It was soooo good, I'm excited for it to come out on DVD so I can show Jenn and Regan cuz they'll love it.

I have a lot to say about being home, I accomplished some stuff that I was meaning to do for a while now. I had some great nights out with my friends and my siblings who I love a ton and already miss them like crazy. More later about being home!

And in this moment I am happy... HAPPY
IIiiii wish you were here
IIIIIIiiiiiiii wish you were here
IIiiii wish you were here
IIIIIIiiiiiiii wish you were... here

And in this moment I am happy... HAPPY
HERE.

I started really thinking about how I'm coming home for my dad's wedding in a week this morning. I was suprised and happy to open my email this afternoon and discover that people have written me about my time coming home! Guess it's time to start scheduling again! I'm so stoked to be home again, this time [hopefully] for a longer stay of nine days [depending on if I get my last two shifts traded off].

Regan told Jenn and I today that she had a feeling 2008 was going to be a great year. And you know what? I think so too. I feel really good about this coming year, that things are slowly but surely coming together for me. I'm coming over the hump of my financial troubles and things should definitley go smoother after that!

Before I started writing this, I realized something pretty entertaining: I'm sitting on the mattress we have in our living room. It's here semi-perm. because people are over all the time... And since Amber moved out they've been keeping her room empty for the same purpose... It's nice knowing we have a house that people feel comfortable staying over. I feel like the four of us are really doing well together and we are all friendly and welcoming people.

Last night we had a roomies night... We went to the theatre [shock! we never go see movies!], and saw P.S. I Love You. Now granting, if you keep up with my blog you'll have noticed that I've already seen it. BUT it was even better the second time. It's fantastic and I have NOTHING bad to say about it. Everyone should go see it. It was fun to get out and go see a movie with all my roomies... we don't usually ALL go out at the same time... We usually entertain people here together. So nice bonding time, and they showed me the greatest place to see the best scenery of Edmonton. I can't wait until Jo gets here so I can show it off to her. It's so goregous!

Wow, 2008. Life is crazy. This past year has been a very important part of my life growing up. I appreciate everything that happened, all the lessons learned, all the fun times that I've expierenced in 2007.

It's very nice to be back home. It was absolutely wonderful to be in B.C. for Christmas... I love being around my family and close friends. It looks like I might be getting NINE days to come home for my Dad's wedding. Don't know if Regan will be able to come with me or not yet. Depends on her job situation.

I feel like I didn't get enough time with some of my close friends so it will be awesome to go out and really hang out one on one with them. P.S. I Love You is like one of the best movies I've seen in theatres in a while... Next to Dan in Real Life of course. I highly suggest you see it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

)Where did you begin 2007?
I spent it out my house with Beth and my brother I do believe.

2) What was your status by Valentine's Day?
Very very single yet flirty.

3) Were you in school anytime this year?
The first three months :-S

4) How did you earn your money?
Boston Pizza and KFC/Taco Bell

5) Did you have to go to the hospital?
Nope

6) Did you have any encounters with the police?
Yes

7) Where did you go on holiday?
Creation in Washington.

8) What did you purchase that was over $1000?
Hahaha, NOTHING.

9) Did you know anybody who got married?
Graham and Leah Kullman

10) Did you know anybody who passed away?
Nope

12) Did you move anywhere?
Edmonton :-)

14) What concerts/shows did you go to?
Wow, the only concert that comes to mind was Drew's in Calgary. Oh and of course all the concerts at Creation.

15) Are you registered to vote?
Only in BC

16) Who did you want to win Big Brother?
Me

17) Where do you live now?
Edmonton in The Convent.

18) Describe your birthday.
We went to Red Robin and then to the Vanilla Room afterwards

19) What's one thing you thought you'd never do but did in 2007?
MOVE AWAY from my family

20) What has been your favorite moment this year?
Hmmm... I have quite a few. My birthday, Geoff coming home, Creation, Me coming home for Christmas

21) What's something you learned about yourself?
I'm stronger than I believed I ever would be and so proud of myself.

22.) Any new additions to your family?
Everyone in the Convent.

23.) What was your best month?
MARCH!

24.) What music will you remember 2007 by?
Hahaha... Avril Lavigne-Girlfriend

25) Who has been your best drinking buddy?
Bah ha ha, too many to count. Erica, Tyler, Lesley, Jo, Jodi, Jenn, Regan... Beth when we actually drink.

26) Made new friends?
YES.

27) Best NEW friend?
Oh man, there's too many. All my girlies here and a few of the boys ;-)

28) Favorite Night out?
Going to the Mirage in February... The Union in November...

29) 3 people you've dated this year?
HA, I can't name one let alone 3

30) have you kissed any of the three from q.29?
Uh, no.

31) kiss any one of the same sex?
MMyes...

33) something you look forward to before 2008?
Getting myself financially secure, going to Disneyland, visiting friends in BC.

34) where did you start 2008?
We were on the bridge watching fireworks and eating cupcakes